A few nights ago, I heard B say something about 'rough patches' in our relationship, and how comforted he is by the familiar things at home despite them. I am happy that he takes comfort in the stability of our home life, and I would like to take credit for most of it, since I've stayed home for the most part to raise our daughter.

As for myself, whenever I run into a rough patch with B, or anyone, I resolve the matter as quickly as possible via verbal dialogue. I make amends with my partner, and after he goes to bed, I start to visualize my next move.

It is a truth universally acknowledged in the modern world that whenever someone's career goes so bloody well, his family life runs into a rough patch. And vice versa. So I seem to be the person who bears the 'weight' of that success, and so off to my dreams I go.

One thing I do know: I want to lose weight. Tehlin once suggested that I join a marathon. I have something a little more challenging than a marathon:

I shall lose weight because I want to be in a musical. Ha, ha, ha. Yes, I want to be in a musical while I still look young by world standards. When I was in London, my mates couldn't believe I was 34 and with a child. Someone said I looked 19. Which means I can still be in a musical, if only I would lighten up (both physically and figuratively).

Gene Kelly made things happen for himself. He danced his way into Hollywood and directed the very musicals he starred in because no one else had the same visions and standards as he had when it came to filming the dances.

I'll take the Gene Kelly model...and work on something for 2010.

I want to lose weight. And I want to make a big breakthrough on my voice before it ages and starts to crack. I can still sing those great Broadway and West End arias for the female leads in their original keys (a lot of concert divas bring the keys down by two to three notes AND/OR use Autotune), so I should make that final plunge before I grow old. I can sense my voice's timbre changing. Best to do something along the lines of ingenue before I really grow old.

Kaya pa kasi eh. So I'll do it. I just hope that the person I have in mind as a director says 'Yes'.

And I know God watches over me and provides me with everything I need.

I need this. It'll be my Hong Kong parting gift.